Today my best gay friend and I were talking about his boyfriend and how happy he was that they were together. When out of the blue he says “Irie, do you have a boyfriend?” And I was like “No, I’ve never had one…” He was like “Tha fuckk?!? Are you serious?!” and I was like “Yeahh..” hahah and he was like “WHY?!” And I was like “I… don’t know.” and he was like “Well thats about to change REAL fast… We gonna find you a boo, girl!” hahaha I wanted to say good luck I’ve been trying for 17 years hahaha but I was just like “Okay…” hahah. And then just now I got a phone call from an unfamiliar number, but I saved it as a name I just wasn’t sure who it was. But when I said hi and he was like hey it was a grown mans voice. So i was thinking it was one of my dads friends or something, but then I realized it was my old trainer from my old gym. He wasn’t really my trainer….he just worked at the gym and saw me working out and said I should work out with him sometime and I was like…Okay. So we would work out maybe once or twice a week. Well, I haven’t talked to him since our gym moved locations which was about 4 months ago. And he called me like 2 minutes ago saying he was thinking about me and asked if I still went to the gym and I was like not really cause I want to focus on getting into college and shit. And he was like thats cool…then he said AND I QUOTE! “Well, maybe I can pick you up sometime and we can go to the gym or whatever…that is if your boyfriend doesn’t mind…” And once he said that I was like WHAT. THE. FUCK. Did he really just say that?!?!?! Cause he’s like 60 and ugly as FUCK!!!! (Sorry, thats mean. But I’m not exaggerating. If you saw him you’d be like damnn. haha) I laughed awkwardly and said “Umm I don’t have one…” And he was like “What?? Why not?” And I was so tempted to say I’m a lesbian….but instead I was like “Cause I don’t have time for one right now.” Which is SUCH a lie hahaha I have nothing but time. LOL then he asked “How old are you?” And I was like “I’ll be 18 in 3 months…but hey, I have to go cause I have to wake up early tomorrow. Bye.” And I hung up SO fast. Scariest thing in my life. GOSH. awkwardest conversation everr!!
Well, the reason I babbled on about all of this is because it got me thinking. Why do people always act SO shocked when you say you don’t have a significant other? Like its the worse thing in the world if you don’t. I mean I would like to have one, but its not my first priority right now. Obviously thats what my angels have been trying to tell me. Yes, I may crush on guys, but if they don’t like me back, than they don’t like me. Its just how it is. And that, my friends, is why I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m fucking tired of denying it. The reason I don’t have a boyfriend is because the guys I like don’t like me back. Simple as that. But I can’t fucking tell people that cause then they’d feel sorry for me or think lower of me. It fucking sucks. but its fucking life.